love

ok, this subject has been on my mind A LOT for the past few years.  i used to love the idea of getting a boyfriend and being loved by a guy.  i don't know what was wrong with my head, so don't ask.  i cannot count how many times i have dreamt of my 1st kiss or even my 1st hug from a guy.  i've given up on love.  i hate it.  i thought i had found this one special guy.  he was constantly on my mind.  i was convinced we were going to get married and be in love forever.  then one day he wrote me this big long letter.  a letter asking me to be his girlfriend and saying all the things he loved about me.  i realized i wasn't ready for a relationship and said i would be willing to date when i turn 16.  he said he would wait for me.  i absolutely knew we would be married someday.  i didnt realize though that 'waiting' for someone meant seeing just how much you could break their heart.  have you ever broken something made of glass and tried to pick it all up?  hurts, doesn't it?  he says he still likes me.  he also says that about the million 'hot blondes' i hear about every other day.  why have you done this to me?  i thought i had finally found the one person who really honestly cared about me.  i loved you.